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Do you sometimes find yourself unlovable? Learn how to be yourself – your true authentic self. Then learn how to love yourself – that true authentic self you have discovered and created.
To learn to love yourself, begin by finding yourself;

1. Establish your own identity – Be yourself
2. Set your Direction in life
3. Create conditions that make it easier to love yourself
4. Make the choice that you are worthy of your own love

Be Yourself
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
– Judy Garland
It is hard to really love anything that is fake, isn’t it? That applies to yourself as well. If you are a fake – a phony – you won’t be very lovable — and you will find it very hard to love yourself. If you try to copy other people, you know deep down that you are a fraud – and no one likes a fraud.
Choose to be the real you – the very best you that you can be. Do what you do well. Talk like yourself. Walk like yourself. Make the choices that feel comfortable to you. Choose the career that you want – rather than the career your parents always wanted you to follow. Choose to hang out with people you really like and feel comfortable with – rather than with those who have the highest status or most money.
Set a Direction in Life
If a man does not know what port he is steering for, no wind is favorable to him.
– Seneca
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
To find yourself, you have to find your direction — and then begin to move in that direction. Begin by defining your purpose in life. Then establish projects that fulfill your life purpose, and work diligently toward those goals.
Be of Service
The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others will be the beginning of a happier life for ourselves.
– Helen Keller
Contribute to the world, and you will find reason to love yourself. Being of service to the less fortunate gives a tremendously positive boost to life — gives you a purpose — and gives you a reason to love yourself.
Know that You are Worthy of Love
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure about you.
We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
– Marianne Williamson
Although it feels easier to love yourself when you can identify concrete reasons for being worthy of that love – such as being a person of service – the fundamental reason why you are worthy of self-love is because you exist. If the phrase “Child of God” doesn’t feel comfortable, substitute your own words that reflect the importance of your being, and are compatible with your belief system.
Show your Love for Yourself
This above all, to thine own self be true.
– William Shakespeare
First, act as if you love yourself, Let the emotion of self-love follow the behavior. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat someone you love. Feed yourself healthy food. Get enough restful sleep. Balance work and play. Avoid stressful situations. Find opportunities to relax. Create a daily program to care for your body, mind, emotions, and spirit. Such a daily program might include walking, yoga, or Qigong, and meditation or inspirational reading.
Live a Balanced Life
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
– Albert Einstein
Balance activity with serenity, wealth with simplicity, persistence with innovation, community with solitude, familiarity with adventure, constancy with change, leading with following. Learn to love each aspect of your life, but also to love its counterpart.
Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
– Oscar Wilde
Laugh when you can
apologize when you should
and let go of what you can’t change.
Life’s too short to be anything… but happy.
– Anonymous
You will find yourself a lot more lovable if you take yourself less seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself – enthusiastically and without embarrassment.
Love Others – Love the World
Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.
– St. Francis of Assisi
As we light a path for others, we naturally light our own way.
– Mary Anne Radmacher
Get into the habit of loving. Love your family – love your friends – love the world – even love your “enemies.” It becomes easier to love yourself when you love everyone.
Celebrate Yourself
I celebrate myself, and sing myself.
– Walt Whitman
Invite your friends to a party. Give each person a stack of index cards and ask them to write something positive about you on each card. After everyone has left, choose the cards with which you most resonate. Then write additional positive attributes on more cards. Spread out the cards on your desk or pin them to a wall where you can see them each day.
Celebrate Each Day
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
– Oprah Winfrey
Create each day as a celebration of your life. Cheer every small victory – even getting out of bed each morning
Keep a Positive Outlook
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Act positive, and let the feelings of being happy, honoring yourself, and loving yourself follow your actions.
Spend Most of Your Time with People Who Support You
A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same.
– Elbert Hubbard
With practice, you can love yourself regardless of the negativity and criticism that surrounds you. However, it is much easier to create self-love in the presence of a loving support network.
Make the Choice that You are Worthy of Your Own Love
Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
– Erich Fromm
The steps above set the stage, but ultimately you must make your choice to find yourself worthy of your love, and to love yourself.